Anxiety is a feeling that is caused by any number of things, from simple small talk with a stranger to wondering if you have your life together at all. By definition, it is the feeling of intense worry or fear that can result in negative physical symptoms.

Image Credit: Joice Kelly from Unsplash

In this article, I am going to run through common stressors that I and my friends experience, and methods that have worked to mediate them. It is important to note, however, that these might not work for everybody, and I am just speaking from my own experience.

Take the Quiz: Discover Your Ideal Stress-Relieving Hobby

Everyone deals with stress differently, and finding the right hobby can help you relax and unwind. Take this quiz to find out which stress-relievin...

Common Reasons to Worry

1. Grades

Image Credit: Redd Francisco from Unsplash

If you have found yourself thinking about how poorly you did on that math test, or how if you just got one more percent, you’d be so much happier? For me, this is a feeling I experience a lot. Everyone seems to be so much smarter, seems not to have to study as much, and doesn’t care as much as you do. From my own experience, worrying about others only makes things worse, but it’s really hard not to feel yourself comparing your scores with everyone else’s. So here are my two tricks to keep me on track:

a) Don’t Ask About Other People’s Grades

Comparing yourself to others is just human nature. Our ancestors needed to be the strongest and the fastest to get a mate or run from a bear or two. But now, although we still have the same biology, our lives are much better than our ancestors, so often times, our competitive nature is not important for survival and can cause us greater stress.

Teenagers are especially vulnerable to this because, for hundreds of years, we would be looking for a mate at this time, and needed to compete to get a partner. As a result, asking about other people’s grades can cause us stress if we are doing worse, and can cause us to doubt ourselves. That is why asking about other people’s grades can greatly contribute to anxiety about your grades.

Image Credit: Brooke Cagle from Unsplash

b)Don’t Check Your Grades Often

Having access to your grades 24/7 on sites like PowerSchool may seem like a helpful way to keep up to date on your progress during the semester. If you're like me, you might check it chronically, comparing your scores with your friends almost immediately. For us, checking makes us think we have control over our lives, but sometimes it leads to stress when a bad score is put in. Oftentimes, this constant checking, while meant to alleviate stress, actually increases it because it almost becomes a nervous habit that worsens your feelings.

So if you find yourself doing this, pause, and make a rule to not check your grades for a certain amount of time. Maybe only check grades every other day, or maybe even only once a week. This can help you take a break from constant reminders of your status, along with allowing you to focus more because you don’t need to concern yourself about what you just saw.

2. Public Speaking

Image Credit: Teemu Paananen from Unsplash

For some of us, just talking to our friends and family can seem like a daunting task. Maybe you have a lisp, maybe you mumble (like me), or maybe you just can’t find the right words. If this is the case, talking to a bunch of strangers can be scary.

a) Preparation

No matter what, preparing your ideas and speech is a necessity for a smooth performance. Even if you just wing it, there should be some type of rehearsal before you do your presentation or speech. I like to look in a mirror or practice with a friend, so I can get immediate feedback and so I can tell what I need to improve on. By doing this rehearsal, you can feel more prepared to talk to others about your thoughts as well as organize your plan for your assignment/task. As my band director always says, “Confidence is key to a good performance."

Image Credit: Towfiqu Barbhuiya from Unsplash

b) Reality Checks

So what does this mean? For me, what really got me over my public speaking anxiety was the understanding that the people watching me probably don’t care. While they may be furiously taking down notes or staring at you, they aren’t focusing on you, but rather what you are sharing. They care more about the information, not so much if you stuttered or did an awkward slide transition.

Secondly, presentations always feel worse than they are. One time, I completely blanked on what I was going to tell my peers, and I ended up making an argument based on what other presenters had said earlier. Although I thought I was going to get an F on the assignment, I received full marks.

Essentially, anxiety about public speaking can be fixed through some very simple steps: understanding what you're talking about, seeing that it isn’t as important as you think it is, and doing it! Even if you feel like it went terribly, it probably wasn’t even that bad!

How to Calm Down

People can get anxiety about many different things, and what I listed above are only two of many. So, how can you make sure you can keep calm even when you're stressed? Well, it depends on the person, but I have specific methods of dealing with my anxiety that may be helpful for you, the reader!

1. Smell Something Pleasant

Now, this suggestion might sound weird, but there are studies to back it up. The reason why is that our brains associate certain sensory signals with particular emotions or messages. For example, when we see red, we may associate that with danger because that is what we’ve been taught. So by smelling something nice, we can trick our brain into believing that we are in a good mood, and therefore calm ourselves down.

These smells can be anything, which is why this trick is so easy! You can simply bury your head into a sweatshirt or maybe your dog’s body and take some time to chill out.

Image Credit: Kelly Sikkema from Unsplash

2. Use Fidget Toys

Fidget toys can greatly help with stress and the physical symptoms associated with it. Fidget toys not only give your hands something to do, but can also inhibit unhealthy coping mechanisms such as scratching or picking. They are also quite commonplace, especially in school, so having them won’t seem strange to other people.

3. Think About Why You’re Anxious

This might seem really simple, but for many of us, identifying stressors in our lives can be hard, especially when we are just having a terrible day and don’t know what to do.

The way I like to do it is to think about my day by morning, around noon, afternoon, and finally evening. I go through each time and identify one thing that made me feel anxious. Eventually, when I finally finish my list, I tend to feel calmer and more likely to be able to tackle what’s bothering me.

4. Exercise

Exercise can greatly reduce stress and release endorphins that can help us get into a better headspace. Not only that, but exercise can release pent-up energy, especially anger, into something constructive. Common exercise suggestions are: running, jumping jacks, planks, or push-ups.

Make sure, however, you do not hurt yourself when doing this. If you feel any pain whatsoever, you should stop.

5. Rant To A Friend

Image Credit: Aaron Burden from Unsplash

For me, sometimes when I’m anxious, I just need someone to let me yell and complain without telling me that my emotions are invalid. That is why therapy is so helpful for a lot of people. However, if you can’t get a therapist, there’s always a friend or family member whom you can talk to. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, however, writing in a journal is still extremely useful.

By writing in a journal, you can see your past entries and reflect on how you feel. Also, your journal isn’t going to argue with you either, so it can be really nice to have a one-sided conversation.

Conclusion

Image Credit: Joanne Glaudemans from Unsplash

No matter what you are anxious about, there are healthy ways of dealing with your emotions. Even if you think what you are feeling is stupid or dumb, it still exists, and you need to know how to manage it. For me, grades and public speaking make me stressed, but there are hundreds of different stressors that all depend on the person. To relieve some stress, try smelling something nostalgic, play with your Pop-It, think about your emotions, run around like a crazy person, or complain endlessly to a loved one.

Just remember: your emotions are valid!